
Last night, Dr. Dwight Easler preached a powerful sermon from Acts 15:35-41 Managing Conflict
Here are some highlights:
35 Paul also and Barnabas continued in Antioch, teaching and preaching the word of the Lord, with many others also.
36 And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they do.
37 And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark.
38 But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work.
39 And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus;
40 And Paul chose Silas, and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God.
41 And he went through Syria and Cilicia, confirming the churches.(Acts 15:36-41)
Introduction:
• The church should be a place to exemplify the right way of managing conflict.
• The outside world should look to the church to see how conflict should be managed.
• Conflict cannot be avoided.
• Conflict is caused by competing interests; it is seen in this text.
• Sometimes, after our greatest victories, conflicts arise.
• Causes of conflict: transitions, change in family/church, disruptions, disappointments, and difference of opinions, etc.
• Negative results of conflict: [church] split, divorce, pain, etc.
• Avoiding conflict is not possible!
• Here are four ways to manage conflict
1. Recognize the source of conflict: (V35) (reference verse: Acts 15:12)
1. Luke was the most educated of all New Testament writers . . . he was very detailed.
2. Verse 12 shows us the source of conflict in Chapter 15.
Then all the multitude kept silence, and gave audience to Barnabas and Paul (Acts 15:12)
3. Barnabas was Paul’s mentor . . . in the beginning, Barnabas was the leader.
4. Yet, V35 shows us that Paul became the leader of the group.
5. Barnabas was a people-person while Paul was a task-driven/get ‘er done-person.
6. John-Mark (Barnabas’ cousin) had abandoned Paul and Barnabas on the mission field.
7. Paul was focused on the mission . . . he did not want to risk John-Mark “bailing out” on them again.
8. Barnabas wanted to give John-Mark a second-chance.
9. Paul’s opinion: Mark is a failure . . .
10. Barnabas’ opinion: Mark needs to be restored . . .
2. Recognize the escalation of the conflict:
1. Paul was extremely stubborn . . . he was insistent that Mark was not going with them!
2. Paul was the type of person to have the last word . . . he was uncompromising in his language.
3. A lot of conflict can be avoided if we drop our stubborn language.
4. Language that always closes doors to managing conflict: “always” and “never”
5. Conflict manager: “Don’t make a big deal out of something that is not a big-deal.”
6. We should try to always avoid a “us and them” attitude.
7. We should always seek a win/win solution (under the ruling of the Holy Scriptures)
3. Know the consequences of conflict/division:
1. Pain of division and divorce far outweighs its benefits.
2. Pain of broken church/family will last a lifetime . . . or even longer!
3. The consequences of conflict is always division:
4. How can you turn a disagreement into a feud?:
1. Let your own feelings build up . . . until you blow a gasket!
2. Be as vague as possible in your conversation . . . hoping that someone will “misunderstand” what you say!
3. Assume that you are right in every conversation . . . making sure that others know you are right!
4. Laugh tenaciously at any idea that you disagree with!
4. Find resolution for conflict:
1. Just think of how sad it would have been if Paul and Barnabas’/Mark’s conflict would have never been resolved?
2. We find out at the end of Paul’s life that his conflict with Mark had been resolved!
Only Luke is with me. Take Mark, and bring him with thee: for he is profitable to me for the ministry.(2 Tim 4:11)
3. We must choose to forgive . . . an act of the will rather than feelings.
4. We must make efforts to encourage those who have failed.
5. “Can we just stop spitting on one another?!” (Miguel Gorbachev)
6. You don’t always have to be right!
7. You don’t always have to speak your mind!
8. We can repent of stubborn issues!
9. We can choose not to allow our arguments not to turn into feuds!
10. We can choose to forgive . . . to restore . . . to be like Paul!
• Conclusion:
• The question is not, “How to avoid conflict?” but, “How to manage conflict?”
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